Rachelle is also about my needs. And about me.

In hindsight, I feel that there would have been several occasions where I could have shown my real self to her. Or at least just talk to her. I mean, I once sat next to her for nearly two hrs. And some say I was even invited to a soccer tournament by one of her friends. If true, how more stupid could I be? To be more 'present' might have made her curious about who I am.

My room mate once told me that I repeatedly behaved like a small narcissist. The story line of Echo and Narcissus includes:

[Narcissus] dixerat: 'ecquis adest?' et 'adest' responderat Echo. [...]
voce 'veni!' magna clamat: vocat illa vocantem.
respicit et rursus nullo veniente 'quid' inquit'
me fugis?' et totidem, quot dixit, verba recepit. [...]

'huc coeamus' ait, nullique libentius umquam
responsura sono 'coeamus' rettulit Echo [...]

ille fugit fugiensque 'manus conplexibus aufer!
ante' ait 'emoriar, quam sit tibi copia nostri';
rettulit illa nihil nisi 'sit tibi copia nostri!'

Narcissus did not want to bond with Echo. He simply was not interested in her. He only was interested in himself.

In contrast to these verses of Ovid's Metamorphoses, I am not pleased with what I did. I am certain I like the person she is. I am certain I would let her be part of my feelings. And, I am certain I would let her touch my inner self. I would jump at the chance in a second life. But in this life, it seems time to move on.