True.
Wednesday, September 12Rachelle is also about my needs. And about me.
In hindsight, I feel that there would have been several occasions where I could have shown my real self to her. Or at least just talk to her. I mean, I once sat next to her for nearly two hrs. And some say I was even invited to a soccer tournament by one of her friends. If true, how more stupid could I be? To be more 'present' might have made her curious about who I am.
My room mate once told me that I repeatedly behaved like a small narcissist. The story line of Echo and Narcissus includes:
[Narcissus] dixerat: 'ecquis adest?' et 'adest' responderat Echo. [...]
voce 'veni!' magna clamat: vocat illa vocantem.
respicit et rursus nullo veniente 'quid' inquit'
me fugis?' et totidem, quot dixit, verba recepit. [...]
'huc coeamus' ait, nullique libentius umquam
responsura sono 'coeamus' rettulit Echo [...]
ille fugit fugiensque 'manus conplexibus aufer!
ante' ait 'emoriar, quam sit tibi copia nostri';
rettulit illa nihil nisi 'sit tibi copia nostri!'
Narcissus did not want to bond with Echo. He simply was not interested in her. He only was interested in himself.
In contrast to these verses of Ovid's Metamorphoses, I am not pleased with what I did. I am certain I like the person she is. I am certain I would let her be part of my feelings. And, I am certain I would let her touch my inner self. I would jump at the chance in a second life. But in this life, it seems time to move on.
Bravo!
Secretly I wish you could have Rachel and all of her, I hope that you find the real Rachel of your life, the one who fits you in all the right spots. It has been said that when you are looking you will not find, but when you search no more it will find you.
Very nice blog!
kickenchica September 12, 2007 6:29 PM
Words of wisdom from kickenchica.... Step back, get a good definition of what your wants and needs are, and next thing you know....she's there, when you haven't been looking.
You've read my blog....I was so mad at men. Worn out, battered by the conflict between what I wished a man could be and what they'd been to me. I finally decided, to hell with it all and I'll just enjoy things awhile. And what happened? This guy brought me up short by being so different.
Nothing might come of it....but I've learned more of what I want and need.
Be careful out there....
Blogget Jones September 12, 2007 6:41 PM
Hi simon.
i'm elahe.
i think she love you like you.
you should be hope very very.
Oo
i forget
i give your answer in my blog in part comments.
thank for that comment.
you have beautiful blog.
elahe September 13, 2007 3:24 AM
Thank you for the comment.
Your posts are very nice to read. They show mental growth, and it's nice to see you're learning all of this at a young age. Hopefully you won't have to bump into obstacles that are too hard for you to solve on your own, but I hope the best.
I myself am slowing discovering who I am and just touching the surfaces of what I can claim is "me."
Oh! And congrats on the 11+ days of not smoking. Keep up the good efforts. =3
Cheers!
S.M. Torres September 13, 2007 5:17 AM
Kickenchica is right! Karma seems to work that way. Once you let it go, that's when the right things start happening to you.
I just vented it all in my dark poetry and it seemed to have excorcised all my self-doubt demons.
Axe September 13, 2007 8:12 AM
I do hope that's true :-)
simon September 17, 2007 1:31 AM