guy's mind

Many comment writers have asked me to post pictures of myself. (Some even asked by using words I unfortunately cannot publish...)

As most of you know, the blog was initially called 'nasty predator' mainly because I wanted it to sound like a nice place of an average young guy in his twenties.

Why not 'predator' I thought? David Beckham's cleats are called predator. I think he's a role model for many guys; so, why not? What's more, the Adidas brand stands for sports, health, fun, manhood, and many other desirable attributes.

Why not 'nasty' I thought? Given that predator leaves a brawny, male, sporty, and a bit a harsh impression, there could be a more intuitive, and probably wilder side to it? Nasty seemed o.k. to me. Seemed. I wanted to seem a tiny bit 'mean,' in order to prevent a narrow-minded image.

If I had a better command of the English language, I could have foreseen what the reactions would be. Tremendous reactions were to follow. Several blog readers felt that this name made the impression of a site they rather would not visit.

Please believe me when I say that I love to be visited. I love to receive innumerable comments. I love people spreading the word about my site. Because it is great to collect as many different opinions as possible from people with the most possible different backgrounds, ages, occupations, interests, and most of all, the most different opinions. It's the variety in my life that I love and cannot live without.

And so I changed. 'Brawny Hunk' was what sounded great to me. For several reasons.

Honestly, what man doesn't want to be brawny? Not to mention, who doesn't want to be a hunk? And what woman doesn't want to date a brawny man; a hunk?

Now, wannabe and be are totally different from each other. The first is what marketing strategists make of David Beckham; the latter represents reality.

So where do I fit in? I don't know. I believe everybody would have a slightly different opinion on my looks.

I live in a rather narrow-minded environment. Many of my colleagues at university strive to make big career in business. A part of me wants this, too. You can imagine there is competition going on at college already. For example, my room mate has repeatedly threatened me to use anything negative against me in the future. He said he could very well imagine blackmailing other people if he wouldn't suceed careerwise. Pretty scary, huh?

Therefore, I decided to shield my identity when I started this blog. I thought that only by writing anonymously would I be able to write all about myself. And I mean, all. My keenest dreams and strongest wishes, my biggest fears and deepest regrets.

But, every now and then I get weak. And change the attitude I initially had.

So, here is a picture of myself that partly reveals what I look like: