guy's mind

This is, by far, my most favorite of Rosie O’Donnell’s Jahero movies. Jahero, you may be wondering, is a nickname for the morning video blogs posted by Rosie O'Donnell on her website during part of her tenure on The View. The name was created using the first two charachters of the participants Janette Barber (O'Donnel's writer and produer), Helene Macaulay (make-up artist who is in charge of O'Donnell's hair and make-up), and Rosie O'Donnell.

This particular video is especially interesting because it outlines several difficulties Rosie faced when on The View.


Transcript:
('Better Be Good To Me' by Tina Turner is playing in the background, sung parts are desplayed in italics)

Good morning, bloggers.

A prisoner of your love, entangled in your web.

Helene: Is today a double feature?
I don't know

Hot whispers in the night. I'm captured by your spell.

My favorite part, right here

Oh yes Im touched by this show of emotion? Should I be fractured by your lack of devotion? Should I, hm, should I?

No, no, you better be good to me. That's how its gotta be now. 'Cause I don't have no use for what you loosely call the truth. You better be good to me.

This is for the whole FOX network
Helene: We're very depressed we're leaving The View. We liked it
Yeah, it was fun.
Helene: I could've done another year
Yeah
But we're not sad, people.

We dont need to fight. We could stand face to face and you present your case

This is about Donald.

I know you keep telling me that you love me, and I really do wanna believe. But did you think I'd just accept you in blind faith? Oh sure babe, anything to please you. You better be good to me. Thats how its gotta be now.

Come on in Janette, isn't this funny?

'Cause I dont have no use ... for your over loaded lies

Alright. Somehow I just felt Tina Turner was really a good way to start off today. Are you all well?

Helene and Janette: Yeah, we're good.

OK, everybody's good. This is our second blog of the day, the first one was utterly boring.

Background: Here's me. (Confetti gun shoots off.)

Confetti! That scared the hell out of me, I thought the light bulb broke. Isn't that appealing?

Helen: Right now I have Tinnitus in both ears. Excuse me. Get out of my way!

Alright. A lot of the blog entries are the same. "We're sorry you're leaving, we're sorry you're leaving, we're sorry you're leaving."

"If I was stranded on a desert island," Lisa said "what five CDs should I bring?"

I think Tina Turner.

I can't feel, I surely cannot see. Why can't you be good to me? If it's not real I do not wish to see.

That's why I didn't watch all the crap last night.

Helene: I didn't watch any of it.

Janette: I didn't watch any either.

Helene: I don't watch television.

good to me ... Why can't you be good to me?

Here comes the cow bell. Ready? It's got a big solo coming up. Here we go. And now, cow bell every body. Oh, it's not there.

for your overloaded lies

I love Tina Turner.

for your overloaded lies ... I don't have no use for what you loosely call the truth, you better be good to me

I think that's my new theme song. 'You better be good to me.'

Alright, ladies. We're gonna do a few quick questions for the people.

"FOX twist the news about as much as ABC, CBS, ... . Oh, that's right their news leaves just to the left as always. That's why you applaud them. Keep applauding while FOX will dominate the ratings."

Peggy, I don't know what to tell you. If you wanna go to, you know, eat fast food every day even though you know it's not healthy for you, abd it's not really good to do, go ahead. FOX News I don't have no use for what you loosely call the truth. I'm quoting Tina Turner.

"A major bummer, where will I get my broadway fix as well as my mind jump-started by your provocative comments. Don't do a game show! I wanna hear what you have to say."

Oh Regi, thank you Regi. Alright, go ahead Janette, here take Gary.

Janette: Ok Gary. "If people focused on the good non-sexual qualities of the gay community they would feel different. Why do people always think of the sexual side? Thinking of Mary Lou having sex makes me want to puke."

Who is Mary Lou? Neither do I.

Janette: But see, here's my thing, I don't wanna think about anybody having sex, quite honestly nobody.

Helene: I'd like to think about myself having sex.

I'd like Helene, too, have sex. So maybe she could, ... yeah calm down a little.

Alright "It's amazing how these shows with experts boost their own ratings talking about one person leaving a talk show. Not Gonzalez, not Tilman, not Iraq. Over 6 shows."

I think it was more than that, Barbara, but you get the point.

Helene: "Where can I see the OutFOXed documentary?" Netflix. You can see almost anything on Netflix.

Go to Netflix. I'm a big supporter of Netflix. And get that OutFOXed documentary so that you can understand what it is you're watching there. You're watching a purposeful slant for a financial game of a couple of very rich, sick people.

Helene: While you're at it, you should rent 'Smartest Guys In The Room,' Enron. Smartest Guys. And I think that's gonna be ob PBS this week in New York, anyway.

Yes, and Bill Moyer's bravo series on PBS. Bill Moyer, I'm gonna send you something, I don't know what.

Janette: "What's your view on global warming," Tiffany wants to know.

It's real, and it's happening, and no matter what anyone tells you folks, we're in big trouble.

Janette: Yeah, and don't invest in a lot of sweaters.

Helene: Invest in real estate in Northern Canada.

"Is it weird being famous?" says Allan. Yes it is, and I've written a book about it, and it's called 'Celebrity Detox,' and it comes out on September, 18.

Janette: Cindy has "Jahero, thanks for showing the world: women can be sexy, and smart, and funny all in one. Ro, will miss you. But no, we'll see you still. Hope stories really open people's eyes to spin, spin, versus truth." Well, that's always show biz. That's actually another word for showbiz.

"All this talk about you leaving the view as though we'll never see you again." Tracy, you're totally right, and I know I will. And you're correct. "Do you think this is what you call a distraction?" Yes. "Another 9 troups killed in Iraq." I hate when they call them troups, because you know what a troup is? A human being! 9 troup, no, 9 people, 9 sons and daughters, 9 families destroyed, for what is my question, for what.

Alright, take one, Janette.

Janette: OK, "How about a movie, I loved you in a leage of their own. It's gonna be pretty boring without you, where am I gonna find my morning smile now?" Right here.

Yeah, we'll still do the blog. Cindy: "What a journey you're on, awesome" I agree, life's a journey, honey, there is no destination.

"The responder's story saddened me so" You have no idea, wait until you see it tomorrow, it literally, it's hard to explain. "You will be a voice for them." I hope to God I will be. "I watched American Idol last night, our reponders need a show like that" Yes, they do, Dana.

Alright, we're at 8 minutes, and oh, we got flowers from who? Oh, you two little cute boys. Men. Celebrating their 10th anniversary, I sent them to see a show.

Alright, we're at 8 minutes, we're gonna go now. OK, Helene, take one, they miss you.

Helene: "Canada loves our neighbor's ... . You speak for so many Canadians with your view on the Bush administration. We're so going to miss your view up here. God bless and come up visit us. aight."

Aight, I will.

Helene: Those Canadians say that all the time.

I love the Canadians, aight. "Rosie, I don't swear, but for F sake will these idiots of society shut up and leave you alone? The road is rocky for those who make a difference. Rock on! D. T. and Bush, fire them both!"

Let's just end this blog the same way we began it, ok? With what? A little Tina Turner. Take it Tina, take us home. ... Here we go. Oh, I love the song. Two ... three ... four.

Prisoner of your love
...